It's Green Week at Envirodale! We're doing all sorts of green things like...

...

...anyway. Jeff befriends Chang to get out of essay. Troy faces his fear of rats (who are unpopular). Shirley delivers a speech about the Napster of brownies.

Ben tells you that your mom went to the store. Mike hopes this doesn't awaken anything in him.

This is our first explicit episode ever because we talk a LOT about human body parts. And that's because Annie and Dean Pelton are putting on an STD Awareness fair. Also, because Ben really likes talking about certain body parts.

Meanwhile, Pierce gets a date with call girl and Jeff gets a date with a vapid 19-year-old.

And as for your intrepid hosts? Well, starts a school of lovemaking, we talk about our longest dry spells (spoiler: Mike's is not very long), and we talk about our preferred... college logos to put on condoms? This one gets wild.

Ben teaches you about the clitoris. Mike uses his first of three questions.

It's the most important day of the year! That's right, it's December 10th! Shirley imparts her deeply held Christian beliefs that everybody should be tolerant of every other religion and also have deeply held Christian beliefs. Jeff gets into a fight with the school bully (who used to be a NERD), and the group is severely fractured due to a difference of allegiances.

Meanwhile, your hosts feed you some delicious facts about the state of Colorado, talk about Spaceballs for a hot minute, look up podcasts for the TV show "The Critic," and tells some stories about a certain fast casual restaurant in a legal way.

Ben misses a cameo. Mike craves going to a restaurant.

Everybody is back for the spring semester! Plus Buddy. Who is Buddy? Well, he's Jack Black, of course. Turns out the study group doesn't really like Buddy. Meanwhile, Jeff gets a gig as the school's newspaper editor with a cushy office. Annie finds a scoop so big you'll need an army of raisins.

As for Ben and Mike? Well, we talk about the stuff we're going to do once we get out of quarantine and what the best restaurants would be to crash a moped into for a flaming death.

Ben gets unlimited text messaging. Mike goes to Captain D's.

Jeff and Professor Slater go Dean-Form Official and Britta doesn't care (spoiler: she does). Troy and Britta catch each other doing dance classes, but when his manliness is challenged he decides he doesn't care about dancing (spoiler: he does). Everybody thinks Pierce is dead (spoiler: he is NOT).

Meanwhile, we're talking about programming languages for some reason, sports rivalries for some reason, Jerry Rice, which actually has something to do with this episode, and more!

Ben is a dance elitist. Mike remembers the quadratic equation.

Annie starts dating Vaughn (is that his first name or last name? Nobody knows). It creates a whole network of drama. Plus, Pierce wants to make fun of movies with Troy and Abed. Also Chang is there. Why is Chang there? Nobody knows that, either.

We're also talking about some of the wildest lies we've heard, the 1984 movie Runaway, the terrible movie Samurai Cop, and shaped bangs?

Ben makes some editorial notes. Mike gets excited about internet comedy.

Black lives matter.

Period.

Britta accidentally drunk-dials Jeff (can you ever really purposefully drunk dial somebody?) and it upsets the balance like a plotline in Who's The Boss. Now Jeff, with the help from Abed, needs to make it even. Also, Pierce and Troy are up to some shenanigans about faking valentines and wearing pantsuits.

Meanwhile, we relate some tales about our own drunk moments, the best ice cream flavors, places you can bone done in America (spoiler: anywhere).

Ben goes back in time for copyright reasons. Mike doubts Ben's sex advice.

There's shorts. There's balls. People try to set Abed up. These notes are bad because I'm uploading this episode pretty late. Just listen to the episode and you'll know what's up.

Ben Brittas being an Abed. Mike makes weekend breakfast.

It's Family Day at Greendale and that means everybody has family visiting! All the family gets up to shenanigans like terrible pictionary tournaments and some serious but whuppin'. Also, Jeff tries (and spoiler: succeeds) in sexin' it up with Pierce's former stepdaughter.

Meanwhile we talk about... <checks notes> pig anuses and Seinfeldian jokes about the Jacksonville Jaguars. Uh. Yep. Classic us. Also we talk about the hottest Smash Bros. character with surprising results.

Ben cashes your check for 25 grand. Mike rescues the princess.